Sex and the City meets Oprah!

Highly Underrated

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 01:17:00 +0000

I recently joined an online dating site. Oy. What to post, the pressure to respond, the confusion when you have a few good dates (and then nada), and the sheer entertainment of everything in between. Literally received an email that said, "Call Fed-Ex; you're the total package!"

It's all very fascinating. I'm enjoying it, and definitely don't feel in a hurry for true love (wouldn't that be ironic), but what's been profoundly interesting is how underrated honesty seems to be on these things. For starters, I'm 38 and actually posted my age. Almost everyone told me to lie and say I was younger so that men who are in their early forties (my ideal range) would respond, and then either mention the truth in my profile or tell him when we meet. Can you imagine? Uh, no. My guy doesn't get caught up on a number and isn't paranoid that every single 38-year-old woman is desperate to get married, so she'll take what she can get. Ha, as if. Moreover, my guy gets turned on by integrity so lying would be a non-starter. That said, I put it all out there, and while I do receive more emails from 50-something-year-old men than anyone, I also get a healthy dose of everything else. Turns out, some people like to live outside the line.

Anyway, this one guy wrote me a thoughtful and articulate email that reflected he did, in fact, read my profile. I was intrigued, but he didn't have any photos posted. Fair is fair and obviously I wanted to see who was writing me so I wrote back telling him the same. He sent me a few photos, along with another really nice note. But, I didn't feel a spark. I tried, I promise. Believe me, I know that an instant physical attraction isn't always what it's cracked up to be. So, there I was, tipping my Mac upside down, then upside right, zoomed in, then way out, but no ... couldn't strike a chord. I felt bad. Here this guy took the time to send me three photos and if I didn't respond, that would be awful. Especially considering the particular dating site I'm on indicates the last time you logged in, so it wasn't reasonable to assume he'd actually think I'd fallen off a cliff or something. What to do? No ... what would I want someone to do for me, if the tables were turned. I decided to be honest. I wrote back and thanked him for sending me the photos. Told him I really appreciated his note and that, while most people wouldn't say anything at all, I couldn't bear the alternative, which was to leave him hanging. And then I told him that I was sorry, but that I just didn't feel a chemistry spark. I also said that I'm sure he was a great guy and I knew his match was out there, wished him well, etc ... and I meant every word. Now, when I saw that he replied, I'll admit I was nervous to open his email. Would he say I was shallow? Superficial? Ask for another shot? Tell me off, what. I didn't know, but what he did write, I could never have imagined:

"Hi Michelle, thanks for replying, you are right, most people wouldn’t say anything, and maybe I would do the same. I fully understand you, (or maybe not) but unfortunately it's irrelevant because there's no second chance for a first impression. I just have to say one last thing: Now I think that you are not just beautiful on the outside, you are probably even more beautiful on the inside, for being honest with me. Thank you. If you meet your guy, actually when you meet him, show him this email, I can only tell him to stop buying lottery tickets; he just won the jackpot. I wish you all the best."

Wow. That made me go back to his pictures to BE SURE I couldn't find a spark! But, nope; nothing. Still, his email totally moved me. I didn't tell him my thoughts for cudos. I told him because it was the right thing thing to do. It requires little effort to be straight with people, yet the end result is so fulfilling, and ultimately everything worth living for. I could've easily blown him off (and justified it for obvious reasons), but to treat a person (even a dating profile, whom I sometimes forget is actually a human being), with utter kindness, is highly underrated. Seems so small and insignificant, but nothing ever is. You get what you give.

Dating

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 00:41:00 +0000

I'm dating again. Well, I have some dates lined up so I guess I'm not dating just yet, but beginning tomorrow, I'm back in the saddle. Ooh, "lined up" sounds like a cattle call. I don't mean it like that. Anyway, I actually felt it coming on (the dating urge, I mean). I haven't wanted to date anyone since the "public intellectual" in June (hey, that's a respectable three month sabbatical!). But, a few nights ago, I was returning home from an amazing S Factor class and told my friend Sarah, "I'm ready." Can't really explain how it happened, but my entire "dating energy" shifted that night. Next day, I had three different dates lined up. It's incredible what we put out there and how it comes back.

Lorraine, I'm not a Lesbian

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 23:53:00 +0000

Just returned home from my high school reunion. Amazing time. Everyone was so nice and warm and absolutely wonderful to one another. Lots of laughing and catching up. But hands down best question of the weekend came from my childhood friend Lorraine, whom I hadn't seen in almost twenty years. She pulled me aside and said, "Hey ... I don't mean to offend, but there aren't any photos of you with other men on Facebook, yet you do have tons of you with beautiful women, so I have to ask ... are you a lesbian?"

Whaaaaaat?

I wanted to bust out laughing. Not that I would mind being a lesbian. I just happen to only be sexually attracted to men. Maybe she's a lesbian and hoping I was! Only kidding. She's married with four kids, so perhaps it truly was an innocent conclusion. But is that what it comes down to? No Man - Must Be Lesbian. I think not. Still, I considered posting a photo album with men I've dated on Facebook, titled "Misc." But that might get awkward. Besides, who would the album be for? Not me. I know I've had more than my share of the dating pool, so what would I be trying to prove? I decided not to do anything.

S Factor

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 02:45:00 +0000

I had heard of S Factor for years. Super intimidated, I never thought I'd actually take a class but secretly wished I had the courage. About four months ago, that day came. I was at the Thompson Hotel in Beverly Hills with my friend Val celebrating our mutual friends' US citizenship. A typical LA scene, the room was filled with gorgeous women. I was mesmerized by their beauty but more with their seeming ease and grace in their bodies. Val and I were chatting when suddenly our conversation turned very serious. Despite our gushing compliments about each others outfits, we each disclosed how they were not what they seemed. I was wearing a dress over jeans because I wouldn't dare shows my legs, and she was wearing a long top over jeans that wouldn't button so she had a maternity belt to pull things together! We laughed so hard we nearly fell out of our chairs. But in all seriousness, we were ridiculous. Both of us a size two, recognized we had issues and vowed to resolution.

We started talking about S Factor. Each of us had heard the same things: pole dancing, stripping and lap dancing while wearing practically nothing and six inch stripper heels. You kidding me? I was absolutely terrified but knew this was my answer, because we had also heard how empowering and liberating it was for women. Val and I agreed to try an introductory class. Meanwhile, another one of my close girlfriends Staci had also been invited to try S that very same week by a friend of hers named Janelle who happens to be an S instructor. Kismet. Against world class excuses, the three of us showed up for our intro. Practically wearing burka's, we were dressed head to toe in long sleeved black tee shirts and yoga pants, though I think Staci even added a hoodie.

So there we were, in our very first S class, completely out of control. Not in a good way. We (I can say "we" because we have discussed this in detail), were so in our heads that I'm shocked we didn't walk out. The first time Janelle told us to touch ourselves (I'm talking about an innocent caress on our thighs), I thought I was going to faint. My mind was plagued by thoughts that it was wrong and bad. Sadly, it felt foreign to behave in any manner not consistent with a goofball on a dance floor. That was me my entire life. Okay, I know I've had sexy moments but it's never been my thing to sexualize anything. I blamed it on my mother. I convinced myself that I only looked good when I covered my body because that's what she did.

After the intro, the three of us sat dazed on the floor, unable to move. We found it impossible to believe that we would ever be able to move our bodies sensually, much less take ourselves seriously while doing it. We deflected with humor, made fun of ourselves and tried everything to talk ourselves out of signing up for an eight week class. Val and I were scared but open to at least trying, and really wanted to Staci to join us. That's when she broke down and started sobbing, which made us cry because we related to everything she was saying. As she was sharing painful memories of when she made an unconscious decision not to be sexy and sensual, we just nodded through our tears because we understood. It was easier to be the funny girl, or play the intellect, or even the prude, than to embrace our sexuality. It was time to break free.

It's been four months now and we are just about to graduate Level 2. We are blown away by how far we've come. The sense of empowerment was what compelled me to enroll but the impact was underrated. The room is safe. Low red lights, no mirrors and an incredible effusive teacher who inspires us beyond words. We have fun. For the first time in my life I feel tuned into my body and the magic of being a woman. I appreciate my curves, feel comfortable, in fact amazing in my own skin, and love that I'm able to lose myself in a sultry song. I dance in tiny hot pants and bare feet, Val rocks the pole in thigh high fishnets and Staci slays us with her scantily clad moves. If anyone would've ever said that we'd be doing the things we do in class, we would've thought they were high. We love this class. S Factor is for every woman, every where. Even my 62 year old Mother. Just the other night she was at my house and after showing her the S Crawl, she said she wanted to try it. My Mom! There are no words to express my gratitude for the full circle effect.

Sober Sorting

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:22:00 +0000

What if every first few dates with someone new was sans alcohol? I wonder how many people would even get a second date. Talk about rose colored lenses. My favorite first dates have been sober. If I'm comfortable, attracted and interested with no alcohol, it's usually on. Last year I dated a man who doesn't drink. At first I was devastated to hear he didn't but looking back, it's my favorite getting to know one another time. Always up for adventure, I decided I wouldn't drink while with him. Being with him totally sober required a different way of being in the awkwardness of those first few months. From our first kiss to our first everything, we were fully present and aware, and I loved it. Sometimes it was uncomfortable not to ease certain moments with a glass of wine, but overall totally liberating. I never had those worries of, "oh my god, I said what?" Dating is awkward. But dating isn't the problem. Sorting is. People meet new people all the time. How we sort is the answer. And while there are many ways to sort (trust being number one), sober sorting is the best method I know for clear direction and answers. Of course, not all my first dates are sans booze, but if a date seems to have potential, I make a point to plan a sober outing right away. A hike, a walk on the beach, strip scrabble (just kidding!), anything that's fun and active in the light of day. Sober sorting is the new black. Sex-ay!

Wedding News

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 04:16:00 +0000

My Dad got married today. He's been dating Anne, a smart, vivacious and lovely woman for about 18 months. Recently she moved from Canada to live with him in Santa Barbara. This past Wednesday he called me to say he had "big news." They were getting married. They wanted a private ceremony and asked if I was available on Saturday?

My initial reaction was joy. I couldn't be happier for them because I truly believe they're a perfect match. But after saying I'd clear my schedule, I hung up the phone and sat in my car stunned. I didn't know what I was feeling but I couldn't move. A few minutes later, my sister Keisha texted asking if Dad had called me? I called her back and next thing I knew I was crying. Then I started sobbing. I explained to Keisha that I felt bad for crying because the sadness had nothing to do with them. The tears were because of my own longing for true love. I was ashamed at my selfishness. How did their wedding have anything to with me? Because the two of them finding one another against international odds brought up a deeply rooted cry of, "Where was mine?"

My sister let me cry until I couldn't anymore. We talked about what I was feeling and then I thanked her and said I had to go because I was meeting a friend for lunch and had to "get myself together." Which is the worst, by the way. Pretending to be happy when you're hurting is the epitome of all I'm against but I didn't want to cancel last minute. So I drove into Beverly Hills and met my friend for a lovely and fake lunch. As I was driving home, I started crying again. God, where was all this coming from? I'm happy being single. I don’t feel lonely. So why such despair? Once home and laying on my couch I realized it wasn't because I wanted a boyfriend. That was too small for a pain so big. So I continued digging and thought it was because my Dad getting married meant that I'd never be as close with him as I longed for now that he had Anne. Ooh, that seemed to hit the spot because I've spent a lifetime wanting more connection with him. But after sitting with those feelings for a long time it still didn't feel right so I decided to go deeper. What was I wanting? What was my soul literally crying out for? I felt like a desperate mother saying to her crying baby that can't speak yet, "What? What baby, what is it?" Then I got another hit. I wanted a deeper connection with myself. Well, that was just too exhausting so I fell asleep.

Meanwhile I had dinner plans with two new friends. I barely knew one and the other was her best friend and this was our first dinner so I wanted to feel "up" - not ideal timing. I don't know why but something said not to cancel. When I woke from my nap I was in a daze. The drama had subsided but I had a low level lingering. I didn’t get up. I just started breathing. One long breath at a time and then I got very still. I was present. In this presence, I was able to get the final piece of what the "wedding news" was trying to give. My longing is for connection not only with myself but with ALL - humanity, the world, the Universe and God*. And, it was already within me. That was the message. Nothing new and certainly not surprising, but for some reason and on this day, I got it. My heart had cracked open just a little bit bigger. I laid there for a long while with gratitude on my face. Then I got up showered and drove across town to meet my two new friends for what turned out to be one of the most magically fulfilling evenings in a long time. I never mentioned my day to them. I didn't need to. It was already complete and I was in a new now moment.

Why this day was so important to me is clear. If I had bypassed the original thought of "Where was mine?", I'd still be thinking I needed a relationship to be happy. But, because I was willing and unrelenting in my inquiry, I got to the root. So many times we check out and skip over what could be a beautiful message, if only we were present to receiving. And worse, we carry the blind spots within us and the effect shows up all over lives. We then become passive agressive or make poor choices in our attempt for pseudo connection. It takes courage to go that deep. And it takes enormous commitment to stay present with all that comes up. But my God, so worth it. If the very core of who I am is longing to be one with all, and I REMEMBER that I am, who will I be in the world? That "knowing" will drive my every action. That is, until I forget again.

Anyway, today was my Dad and Anne's wedding and it was perfect. They had a casual ceremony filled with lots of love on the roof of the Santa Barbara courthouse, where My Grandfather was a judge. As we were walking up, my Dad spoke fondly of his late Father and for a moment I thought I could feel my his presence. I smiled ...

Much love until more, xo

Original Post Date July 26, 2008. Re-posted per request.

Dating Sabbatical. Again.

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 04:44:00 +0000

I'm taking a break from dating. The next person I decide to go out with will be because I truly want to. This isn't my first sabbatical. Earlier this year I took four months off and it was a really good decision. I had just broken up with someone I had been seeing for about a year and needed time to sort through my feelings, process all I'd learned, and most importantly, figure out what I wanted going forward. That was an incredible time for me both professionally and personally. I learned much more about myself like: I'm not so good at dating. I'm really great on a first or second date and I've been told I'm a very good girlfriend, but the third or fourth date-to-relationship status gets me every time. I'm not alone in this. In general, women don't date. Almost every girl I know gets a little nuts when she likes a guy, but is forced to play it cool until or if it grows into something more. I'm not saying I'm an easy sell. That's my point. I meet a million people, so on that rare occasion when I meet someone I like (and I'm fairly certain it's mutual because he's actually said so), I dream of us SOARING into the unknown together.

Back to real life in Los Angeles.

Anyway, four months went fast but it was an incredibly productive time for me. In the interim, I ended up with a backlog of prospects. No joke. Seems many of my friends wanted to set me up with someone "amazing." So, by May I was dating again and going out on average four nights a week. I was exhausted. It's a funny thing what happens to a single woman in her thirties. You think you should go out and meet as many people as possible (even though you don't really want to) because "time" is flying by. Where's it flying to? We only have this now moment so what will I miss if I don't date? Absolutely nothing. For now, I'm choosing to fly solo again and it feels good. If that makes me a unicorn, I'm totally cool with that.

Too Personal

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 02:34:00 +0000

I posted something really personal a few days ago that generated a lot of attention. The range of opinions were wide. I decided to take it down because it was ultimately too personal. Writing doesn't come naturally for me. It takes me forever to write anything but I do it because it's deeply cathartic. I'm happy to express my transparency but there has to be a boundary. How does one draw the line? Maybe I did.

Freak of Nature

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 01:48:00 +0000

I just returned home from a bachelorette weekend in Santa Barbara with a dozen married and under 30 Jewish women. I'm single and over thirty. Need I say more? Honestly, it felt like they were just staring at me like I was a unicorn or something. And maybe they weren't. It's quite possible I was projecting, as I was the only single girlfriend there (well, there was Rachel, but she's in college so that doesn't count). Anyway, it's truly wild what spending time with them felt like for me. Driving up I was so excited for this weekend. Two days in Santa Barbara in a lovely hotel on the beach with really fun events planned. But, after two days of an entire conversation devoted to THEIR marriages, I felt depleted. And sad. Now, the exhaustion was real. We went on a spectacular wine tour, played every penis party game known to any efficient maid of honor, danced until dawn and drank too much champagne. But the sadness threw me. I never expected to feel so out of place. I was isolated and alone in a group of many. Doubts kept coming to mind. Why am I single? Is there something wrong with me? I thought these questions were 20th century (when I was in my twenties and didn't know better). I mean, wasn't I more evolved than this? I thought I was mature: a genuine "adult." I enjoy being single and in fact, feel so comfortable sleeping alone and RSVP-ing for one that I've wondered if I will ever get married. Getting married is not a destination for me. It never has been. I believe in love. Raw, unabashed, totally inconvenient don't want to live without him kind of love. And maybe that's what these girls have. All twelve of them. If so, I celebrate that. But, to feel sad or that I'm somehow missing out on life because I haven't found mine yet is just plain wrong. I may not meet my man for years to come but being single doesn't make me a freak of nature. Holding on to true love, the kind that ancient sonnets are inspired by, through living in and being fully present to the magic of this beautiful world, and where this love ultimately dwells within me, does.

Holiday Magic

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 23:38:00 +0000

It's a few days before Christmas - how did we get here so fast? While the year has flown by, I'm taking the time to really enjoy this holiday season. 2008 has been an important year. In a way, it's felt like a "wake up call." Electing Obama is clearly a message of change but it's more than that. Yes, times are tough but for some, that's nothing new - it's always tough. And for others, it's been an opportunity for accountability. But for most, it seems we were forced to wake up and realize life is now. There is nothing else.

I've loved 2008. I celebrated my friends in amazing ways this year. Finding true love, several engagements, weddings and babies, a non profit launch, political passion, athletic and artistic endeavors, and countless dreams coming true. It's also been a long year of tremendous loss, growth, challenge and change. But the best part of the year is now, when things are winding down and I'm reflecting on how good life really is. Sounds so trite but it's so true.

I'm grateful for my friends and family beyond words. More than ever, it seems we're savoring all we share. This holiday season was sprinkled with magical decadence. Freedom, fun and laughter. My friends and family make my life what it is. Without them, there is no magic. Thank you! There is one thing I know for sure, I am blessed.

YES WE CAN. Yes we did.

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 07:48:00 +0000

Barack Obama was elected President tonight. Not by a small margin. He won with a sweeping victory. Obama is our President Elect. My God. Like so many, I was at an election party with my friends Mychelle and Mary. We were a small group of about twenty gathered in Felicity and Dan's home in Santa Monica. As we watched the polls close one by one, we would cry, cheer and cry some more. When they announced his victory, we screamed and cried from places within ourselves I'm not sure we knew. Our cathartic emotions were unabashed and it felt so good to be celebrating in the same way, together. The victorious moment was one of the most profound experiences of my life. My Mom called as soon as Obama won to share the beautiful moment with me. My Mom.. who, before this campaign, never got involved in politics, not only voted for Obama, but made sure all her friends did too. Thank you Mama. I feel such immense gratitude for being able to witness such an historical event. We get it. Obama represents the ultimate measure for what most of us have been fighting for all our lives. Democracy. Truth. Vision. Leadership. Hope. The people have spoken and their chant was clear, "YES WE CAN." Obama is the voice for a new America. Later, I noticed the weather made a dramatic shift at about the same time Obama won. Fierce winds started blowing all across town. The winds of change are upon us. My gratitude and awe of witnessing this historic day runs deep. This day will never be forgotten. Not by me. Not by anyone. America voted a black man into the White House. Tonight was not only a Presidential victory, it was a Universal healing. Thank you America. Thank you Barack Obama. Thank you.

Matters of the Heart

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Thu, 23 Oct 2008 03:15:00 +0000

Writing about the current political process is a matter of the heart. Being passionate about politics is hardly ordinary, especially now. The mere fact that people talking politics is "ordinary" is extraordinary in and of itself! My Mother has never really given two cents about politics and this is the first time she's been inspired to do anything. She's 61 years old and believes that change is not only critical, but possible. More importantly, my Mom knows her voice must be heard and that her vote does indeed count. Tell me that's not a matter of the heart. I hear stories like this all the time from people around the nation and it's always extraordinary. Helping spread the word, sharing political passion and actually doing something about is definitely a matter of my heart, thank you very much.

Go Go Gala!

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 21:05:00 +0000

Hello friends, please save the evening of November 21, 2008 for the first annual Go Go Gala. Please contact me for more information. All love, Michelle

Obama or Bust - An International Perspective

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 01:07:00 +0000

Sent from my friend Simon Bailey.

Editorial from Jonathan Freedland of the British Newspaper the Guardian on the upcoming US election.

If Sarah Palin defies the conventional wisdom that says elections are determined by the top of the ticket, and somehow wins this for McCain, what will be the reaction? Yes, blue-state America will go into mourning once again, feeling estranged in its own country. A generation of young Americans- who back Obama in big numbers - will turn cynical, concluding that politics doesn’t work after all. And, most depressing, many African-Americans will decide that if even Barack Obama - with all his conspicuous gifts - could not win, then no black man can ever be elected president.

But what of the rest of the world? This is the reaction I fear most. For Obama has stirred an excitement around the globe unmatched by any American politician in living memory. Polling in Germany, France, Britain and Russia shows that Obama would win by whopping majorities, with the pattern repeated in Africa, Asia, the Middle East and Latin America. If November 4 were a global ballot, Obama would win it handsomely. If the free world could choose its leader, it would be Barack Obama.

The crowd of 200,000 that rallied to hear him in Berlin in July did so not only because of his charisma, but also because they know he, like the majority of the world's population, opposed the Iraq war... McCain supported it, peddling the lie that Saddam was linked to 9/11. Non-Americans sense that Obama will not ride roughshod over the international system but will treat alliances and global institutions seriously: McCain wants to bypass the United Nations in favour of a US-friendly League of Democracies. McCain might talk a good game on climate change, but a repeated floor chant at the Republican convention was "Drill, baby, drill!", as if the solution to global warming were not a radical rethink of the US's entire energy system but more offshore oil rigs.

If Americans choose McCain, they will be turning their back on the rest of the world, choosing to show us four more years of the Bush-Cheney finger. And I predict a deeply unpleasant shift.

Until now, anti-Americanism has been exaggerated and much misunderstood: outside a leftist hardcore, it has mostly been anti-Bushism, opposition to this specific administration. But if McCain wins in November, that might well change. Suddenly Europeans and others will conclude that their dispute is with not only one ruling clique, but Americans themselves. For it will have been the American people, not the politicians, who will have passed up a once-in-a-generation chance for a fresh start - a fresh start the world is yearning for.

And the manner of that decision will matter, too. If it is deemed to have been about race - that Obama was rejected because of his color - the world's verdict will be harsh. In that circumstance, Slate's Jacob Weisberg wrote recently, international opinion would conclude that "the United States had its day, but in the end couldn't put its own self-interest ahead of its crazy irrationality over race".

Even if it's not ethnic prejudice, but some other aspect of the culture wars, that proves decisive, the point still holds. For America to make a decision as grave as this one - while the planet boils and with the US fighting two wars - on the trivial basis that a hockey mom is likable and seems down to earth, would be to convey a lack of seriousness, a fleeing from reality, that does indeed suggest a nation in, to quote Weisberg, "historical decline". Let's not forget, McCain's campaign manager boasts that this election is "not about the issues."

Of course I know that even to mention Obama's support around the world is to hurt him. Incredibly, that large Berlin crowd damaged Obama at home; branding him the "candidate of Europe" and making him seem less of a patriotic American. But what does that say about today's America, that the world's esteem is now unwanted? If Americans reject Obama, they will be sending the clearest possible message to the rest of us - and, make no mistake, we shall hear it.

Half Dome Hike

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Tue, 16 Sep 2008 01:08:00 +0000

My Mom and I just came back from hiking Half Dome in Yosemite. This hike is 8800 feet, 17 miles long and 12-14 hours to climb. We did it in a day. Climbing the mountain with my Mom (that's her in the photo, on the edge) was one of the greatest days of my life. I saw a strength and will in my Mother that I didn't know she had. She's 61 years old and the only female over 30 to hike Half Dome that day. Just amazing to witness. Words can't describe how difficult hiking for 14 hours with a 30 pound pack in 90 degree weather with almost no sleep is. Still, that was nothing compared to the last part which was downright terrifying. The harrowing steps and infamous cables stopped one hiker after another dead in their tracks. I saw men and women come down sobbing because they were so shaken. There's no way to be prepared for the disappointment of not getting to the top after climbing 12-14 hours! It's the ultimate let down. I know because I was one of the people who couldn't. But my Mom did. She was beyond exhausted but her determination was like a Fearless Warrior. I have never been more proud of her than that day.

The next morning we were packing up our hotel room and, I don’t know if it's because we were tired or what, but somehow hurtful words were exchanged. I can't really remember a time when we've ever been in a "fight" but there we were. Of course, we're okay now but the "point" of the pain around our fight was profound. Feeling the fear of heights is nothing compared to the fear of loving. What I got was how afraid people are, especially in a close relationship, to disappoint each other - so they aren't honest. We have to be so brave and emotionally mature for a relationship to work. Moreover, we must trust and allow the connection to naturally unfold, unattached to an idealized outcome. And, that's who I want to be in the world.

When we got home she sent me this Rainbow piece. Not too long ago, I had emailed it to her because it's beautiful. She said she was re-gifting it back for both of us.

The Most Beautiful Rainbow

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

From Barack Obama - Please Register to Vote

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 15:50:00 +0000

From: Barack Obama
Sent: Friday, September 12, 2008 6:28 AM
To: Michelle Sorro

Subject: Forward this email

Michelle --

You'd be surprised by how many people you know who aren't registered to vote.

Registration deadlines are coming up soon, and we need every single vote we can get to win this election.

Tell your friends, family, and neighbors to check out our new one-stop voter registration website.

Just forward this message.

VoteforChange.com makes it easier than ever to register. Instead of tracking down the right forms, all you need to do is answer a few basic questions and you'll be ready to vote. You can also:
• Confirm your existing registration
• Apply to vote absentee
• Find your polling place

If you don't know your own registration status or you'd like to learn more, take a minute to visit the site right now.

This race is too close and too important to stay home on Election Day.

If you take the time to register and vote -- and make sure everyone you know is registered as well -- we'll be able to turn the tide of the past eight years.

It's people just like you who will transform this nation.

Thanks,

Barack

Hope

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 00:34:00 +0000

I've been obsessed with the DNC all week, and tonight, with over 80,000 gathered to watch Obama's speech live, I am in awe . This historical moment not only marks the 45th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther Kings "I have a Dream" speech, but it's also the first time this many people have come together for a US political rally, much less that of an African American delivering his presidential nomination acceptance speech. We've come a long way. You'd have to be sans American heart, not to feel the electrifying energy and hope Obama brings. Witnessing and contributing to his political campaign has truly lifted my spirit. I feel gratitude in my bones for how far we've come. And, for those who got us here. I know Obama will carry the torch for a change we can believe in. This is our time, and the time is now. Yes, we can.

Married post break up

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:43:00 +0000

Almost every “unavailable” boyfriend I've had marries the girl right after me. Today I learned that my ex boyfriend got engaged to a woman he's only been dating for four months. They're getting married in October. That will make him the sixth one of my ex’s to get married post our break up. I wouldn’t choose any of my ex's today, I wouldn’t. But, that doesn’t take away from what comes up for me upon hearing the news. I'm happy for them, and after all is said and done, I wouldn't change a thing. I believe the Universe is always sorting. This is another opportunity to get clear on what I want. I say I would love nothing more than to find a partner, get married and have an extraordinary relationship. Begs me to ask, am I available?

Garden of Friendship

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 21:21:00 +0000

"Every close friendship offers the same fundamental thrill; someone has singled you out and chosen you, someone who had no obligation to do so." - Jenny Offill and Elissa Schappell

I am seriously grateful for my friendships. They make life magical. Each one of my friends is so special in the beauty they bring to my life. They come in all shapes, styles and minds but share the same heart. From Barbara (a newly married and spunky 75 year old international spiritual teacher) to my Mama (a “female strength” tattoo toting, Half Dome climbing, raw foodist), to Mychelle (a Birkin sporting hippie and gorgeous psychotherapist), to Mary (an athletic and funny real estate mogul and TV star) to six year old Ava, (a happy and grateful sprite of sunshine) – they teach me how to love. Friendship has always inspired me. I wrote a book called, The Voice of Gratitude - celebrating the gift of friendship which was distributed exclusively at Hallmark. I still have some copies and if anyone wants one, I'll send it to you gratis. I'm so grateful my Garden of Friendship's in perennial bloom. Tell your friend what you're grateful today!

Nicks Memorial

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Sat, 09 Aug 2008 04:13:00 +0000

Today was Nicks memorial service. A beautiful gathering on the beach in Santa Monica. The weather was gorgeous - 76 and clear. I could feel Nick smiling. I really didn't know anyone there but was invited by a friend of Nicks who read my blog. I was so honored. His loved ones spoke about his way of life. In Nicks own words, "all of life comes to me with ease, joy and glory." Nicks lovely girlfriend, Lisa Todd spoke about three principles Nick truly lived by: Presence, Truth and Compassion. That, combined with heartfelt words from his friend and sister, I came to know Nick as a man of honor and grace. More than once, I was inspired and moved to tears. Funny how small our world is. The minister, Reverend Coco Stewart, is a minister at my church Agape. I don't know if Nick ever attended a service there but it somehow made me feel closer to a man I barely knew. Her words were beautiful as she spoke about Nicks eternal purpose in the lives of everyone fortunate enough to have known him. Again, thank you Nicholas Adams Harrell for being a beautiful teacher in my life and for so many others. Your light lives on ...

In Response to my post about Nick Harrell

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 03:21:00 +0000

I've received many emails in response to my blog about Nick. I posted a link to my Facebook page and from there, it went viral. Friends he knew from high school, college, Chicago and even some in LA, like me, who barely knew Nick have written to express their grief and gratitude. I never imagined anyone would read my post. I was just so heartsick that I had to write something in honor of a man who taught me how to live better. It's beautiful to see what an impact he made on so many people's lives. Clearly, he was a blessed man to have known such good friends. And, from what people have told me, he was an extraordinary presence.

Losing someone we care about brings up so many emotions - love, gratitude, regret, grief, guilt, anger, confusion, disbelief and sadness. What are we supposed to say? How should we console, show our support and express our sympathy? How can WORDS ever convey all we are feeling? From our hearts, we try but it just never seems to feel right.

One of my spiritual mentors taught me a lot about words. In one single year she lost her husband, father and two sons. I can't even imagine. How is someone ever emotionally capable for such immense loss? Her social obligations alone were nearly unbearable. It's not that she wasn't appreciative for the support; she just didn't know what to say to anyone. And, how was she supposed to BE? She felt conflicted because, despite wanting to hide under the covers and cry forever, she had to be brave. One by one, she would listen to people share their grief and sorrow as they tried to comfort her. She knew everyone meant well but she felt so fragmented that she couldn't take their words in. She felt alone. Utterly alone.

Shortly after the death of her second son and the last of four of her loved ones in a year, a dear friend came to visit. He sat down next to her on the living room floor, took a deep long breath, looked into her sad eyes and said, "I don't know what to say." She burst into tears. They sat together in silence for hours. Half a day went by and they never said a word to each other. Finally, they peeled themselves off the floor and went about their evening. She told me that hearing the words, "I don't know what to say" was profoundly healing because it finally gave her the freedom not to know either.

For all who loved Nick, I am truly sorry for your loss.

Nicholas Harrell

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 18:58:00 +0000

I just got back from the gym where I learned my favorite spin instructor Nicholas Harrell died in his sleep Sunday night. He was 32 years old. No one knows why yet but think it was congenital. I found this picture of him on Facebook ... God, I feel heartsick. I didn't know him outside of the gym but I loved his class. He played the best music, had an awesome positive attitude and inspired me to work hard. His class was the only one where I rode front row and center because I knew his energy would push me to new heights when I "locked in" to his rhythm; he was my Seabisquit. Today was an emotional spin. Amy, Equinox's fitness manager and today's instructor, was moved to tears as she shared the news. The class felt heavy and united. I spun from my heart, from my soul, in honor of a young man who died too soon but whose life lives on in me. I wish I would've told him how much his class meant to me. I wish he knew that when I thought I couldn't push any harder I would, because he did. I wish he knew the strength and power I felt in class that I'd carry with me throughout my day. I wish he knew the gratitude I felt knowing I could count on him to be there, every time. More importantly, I wish I would've told him these things when I could have. Today, I learned not to hold back my appreciation just because I barely know someone. Everyone wants to know their significance despite the fact they'd never admit it. Thank you Nicholas for being a beautiful teacher in my life.

Missed Call

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 04:48:00 +0000

What's up with a Missed Call? I don't call people back that don't leave a message (with one exception: my sister). She's a notorious "missed caller," but I call her back because, well I guess it's a sister thing. Seriously though, are people so busy they can't even leave a message? The best is when a Missed Call is from an ex. I saw one on my phone Thursday night. What, did he change his mind, get interrupted or worse, mis-dial? Honestly, who cares. I didn't call him back. The way I see it, if someone wants to get in touch they will. Still, I know plenty of women who will call their ex back. It's another way of saying, "Hi, it's me. I saw that you called and even though we're broken up and you didn't leave a message I'm calling you back because I'm (secretly) interpreting your missed call as you must still care and well, I still care and if you want to call me back, I'm here ... call me!" Why do women use every little crumb as their excuse to get back in touch with someone who was probably difficult to get over? Of course I know WHY but it's like a crack addict looking for a fix. Once the temporary high comes down, all you're left with is depression. A missed call from an ex is a missed call from an ex. Nothing to read in to. If a man has something to say, he will.

A Carrie Bradshaw moment

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 06:15:00 +0000

By the way, best part of my Dads wedding was during their vows, I looked down and noticed I was wearing two different shoes!

Now, more than ever

michellesorro@gmail.com (Michelle Sorro) — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 04:18:00 +0000

I promised my friend Steve Shull, a brilliant real estate coach, that I would post something anything tonight, so here I am. Again. Hello! Where've I been? (Not that anyone's wondering) but honestly, I've been finding myself. I know, it sounds so trite but I'm for real. The past year has been life altering. Through brave honesty, I've been growing up and somehow managed to find my voice. When I first quit my job in real estate I was fired up and thought things would just magically happen according to my plan. Ha. Yes, many good things have happened. Professionally, I created a TV show that's been in and out of production twice, got the best broadcasting agent in town (no small feat I might add), interviewed at ABC's The View, been to two different networks for two new talk shows as a lead host, and (hold your breath) actually booked work as a host. Personally, I've dated, had my heart broken, felt the depth of despair, learned a lot about who I am, definitely and measureably grown, traveled many places, had lots of time off, found an amazing spiritual teacher, slept long hours, donated time to a worthy charity, been blessed by an awesome social network and STILL believe in dreams.

So, why blog? I'm passionate about women - especially my friends. I'm convinced that women of the 21st Century (single, dating and married) need a relatable touchstone other than Oprah (no offense, I love her). My wish is for women (me included) to truly be inspired to be who they say they are while secretly waiting to be rescued (by a man, job or size), or worse, before the Oxytocin hits! I'm not a life coach or a relationship expert. I'm just a woman who's worked really hard to (almost always) like myself as I am. And, seriously - who can we turn to these days to get it straight? I'm talking from an honest (not Dr. Phil's "latest") kinda girl who will speak the truth about what it's like to actually be one of us. We are a generation of Sex and the City meets Oprah. We're smarter and sexier than ever and earned the right to have what we want. So why aren't we? Why are we still operating out of a "strategy" that will never work because it's inauthentic? I'm talking about a deep "if I do this, I'll get their approval" method that no longer serves us. We're not getting it because despite all the dating and self help books we've memorized, we aren't owning the message. It's Theory vs. Application. My teacher says, "Wisdom is knowledge experienced." And since I'm fresh out of a "Hi, I have boundaries.com - click on!" 12 month bootcamp (thank you Mary), I figure why not use MY voice and share some insight. Ladies, you're beautiful ... so magical ... but it's time to stop sugar coating the truth. We've got to put our big girl boots on and get real. Now, more than ever.

Much more soon, xo